Prior knowledge of Malayalam (മലയാളം), or rather,its roman variant known as ‘Manglish’ in common parlance, is suggested in order to decipher the contents of this post.

Excerpts from a GTalk conversation:
One fine evening, the world was going as placidly about its ways, while I was killing time online. Like bolt from the blue, this chat window opens up with an ear-jarring ‘ping’!
Please note: Statements within brackets are not part of the conversation. They’re ‘footnotes’. And yeah, the name ‘Random Guy’ is an alias for someone… ah, never mind. It’s irrelevant.

Random Guy: hi kozhi
me: Kozhiyaa??
Njaan kozhi alla. Period. 😐
Random Guy: aint u one??
me: 😉
Random Guy: phew loyolite naa?
me: When was I a kozhi?
Random Guy: heard ur a big one
me: Yeah. technically, I am. 😀
Random Guy: and dont correct me puh-lease
me: wow.
From whom, I may ask…
okay okay.
me: I won’t puh-lese correct you.
Random Guy: i’m Random Guy
me: I accept your proposition. 😀
yeah, I know you buddy 😀
Long time. 😀
Random Guy: hehe yeah loong tym
me: So, who told you that I’m a kozhi?
Random Guy: is dat imp?
me: Sure it is.
Random Guy: i don think sooo
me: I’d love to know the source behind my good-name, of course.
It’s vital.
Ah. 😀
But I do.
Random Guy: it aint pal
me: Most-certainly.
Random Guy: naaa
me: aw.
But yeah,
I’d love to hear that. 😀
Random Guy: and i don care wat u love
me: Duh!!
As if I didn’t know that…
Random Guy: hehe
me: how’s the sem-break?
Random Guy: not starte dyet
me: It started for me.
Officially, that is. 😀
Random Guy: teachers tooo caring abt our studies
me: aw.
Random Guy: in cet
me: That’s pretty pathetic.
Interestingly incorrigible.
Random Guy: we gotta go till 30th
me: heard that
Random Guy: so howzz lyf?
me: ah, life’s pretty fine.
As you rightly put…
I’m ‘kozhi’ying it out! 😀
Random Guy: gud
me: how ’bout you?
Random Guy: ben better
me: Good. 🙂
Well, I’m nothing compared to you, in that case. 😀
I’ve heard you’re a pro.
Random Guy: hmmmm..
u can catch up
don worry
me: I’m trying. 😛
Random Guy: i’m takin VRS
me: hehe
I’m not.
I don’t intend to. 😀
Random Guy: then u can most certainly reach my status
jus try hard
a li’l more thatn now
me: Hmm…
yeah yeah.
Takes a lot of time.
Random Guy: tym aint a factor
ur orkut dp is better
this is crap
me: thanks
I’ve heard this one’s far better.
Well, opinion’s differ.
And basically, I’m not good-looking.
So I don’t give a damn whether it’s crap or not. 😀
Random Guy: humble??
okkey okkey
me: aw.
Not quite.
I just speak facts. 😀
Random Guy: thats gud
keep it up
me: thanks. 😀
Random Guy: naa don mention
me: okie.
Consider my thanks withdrawn, then.
Random Guy: take it
*Random guy stops responding*

Image Courtesy: XKCD

Random Guy returns with a vengence…
Random Guy: hey pal
me: hey man! 🙂
Random Guy: read ur review of the new chetan book
me: ah. 😀
It’s a good book.
read it if you can. 😉
Random Guy: i bought it too
Random Guy: and read it
me: 🙂
What say? :

Agree with me?
Random Guy: its ok
well yeah
me: The
ending was crap right?

I was like 😐 after i finished it.
Random Guy: but asking for change?
me: Avasaanam angeru kodam kondudachu. (He blew things up at the last moment)
Random Guy: like wat?
me: he’s been writing on the same mould for a LONG time.
Read all 3 books and you get to see a similarity.
The First Person style…
Random Guy: thts wat he is good at
lets face it
me: heh.
But someday he should change if he should be accepted as a mainstream author.
Random Guy: that i agre
me: did you hear what Jeffrey archer said about indian authors?
he dissed them.
He meant Chetan Bhagat when he said that.. 😛
Random Guy: wat is the need to write the time taken by u to read the book??
me: chumma… 😛
Moda kaanikkaan. (Just to show off… of course I’m bluffing!)
Random Guy: hmmm… that makes a poor impression
me: Never mind. 🙂
Random Guy: yeah
don care
me: eg jactly! 🙂
So, what’s your display pic about?
Random Guy: amy lee
dunno her?
me: ew.
dumb me.
dunno her. 😐
Random Guy: evanescence
me: oh.
Random Guy: ring a bell?
me: 🙂
I listen to Evanescense….
She’s the lead singer, eh?
Random Guy: yeah
Random Guy: quick work
wats the point?
me: nothing much.
Just a waste of a few MBs… that’s all…
again, moda!! 🙂
My GK is very poor, you see… 🙂
So, I have to access the wiki everytime!!
Random Guy: yeah i see
one fellow from ur school did tell me u r a big show-off
and talkin to u strenghthens my belif
me: Your belief on/about what?
me: duh!!
Great to hear that.
Well, actually I show off a lot. 🙂
Mostly to no effect.
Still I persist!
It’s no harm no?
Technically, at least…
Random Guy: i call such guys dumbos

duh!Random Guy: anyways carryon
don worry man
u ne
ver mind

me: Honoured to be a dumbo by your definition!
Dumbos rock!
YAAY!!! 🙂
Thanks anyway for your heartening words.
I’m pretty-elated.
Random Guy: typical loyolite
me: thanks, buddy!
I’m a Loyolite
me: and proud to be one! 🙂
Random Guy: let me be honest
me: Please do!
Random Guy: u sing very well
Me: thanks. 😀
Random Guy: and u r writing is ok too
me: yeah
Not okay.
It’s just kinda average.
LOT of room to improve.
And I’m trying. 😀
Random Guy: i’m speaking on my terms here
me: okay.
shoot. 😀
Random Guy: listen
me: Listening intently.
Random Guy: so u got talent
pls stay by that
me: yea…
I think I should
Random Guy: and ppl will like u bit more i guess
me: Hmmm…
You have a point there.
Random Guy: u r very good
me: 🙂
Random Guy: but frm wat i heard..ur personality shd improve a lot
me: So, in your opinion, erm, how do I stop showing off?
Random Guy: try working on that
me: okay.
thanks, anyway. 🙂
Random Guy: callate
anyways carry on as u wish
me: heh.
Random Guy: i’m going then
me: okie buddy
Random Guy: take care
me: Thanks once again for the ‘candid’ comments.
Random Guy: if u take it eriously good 4 u
me: I sure will. 🙂
Random Guy: sarcastically..
me: duh!
Random Guy: bye
me: bye once more.


Only a bored, jobless and idle guy can fight a professional ചൊറിയന്‍ !

@ Random Guy (if you’re reading this; which is unlikely): No personal digs intended. This post is another temporary construct of my feeble human intellect (Celebrating the centenary of this line in my blog!) No one’s EVER goanna get your identity! Rest assured… 🙂

By hari

A twenty-something support engineer, web developer, blogger and journalist who makes the web a better place for a living, at Automattic. Immensely passionate about WordPress! Also loves books, music, movies, and drinking hot cups of coffee on rainy evenings. Dreams of writing a book, someday.


  1. there could be no better way to blast the hell out of random guy,than blog about him on :-).. i seeriously wonder if hes someone i know.. hmm next time i want to defame someone ill refer him to u ok :-)..kidding..

    hmm, so he calls u a showoff straight on face eh.. and proceeds to give u a personality development course too! and u dint even fight back?.. were u that jobless enough to chat with him?.. get a chat-bot dude.. must be better..

    wat does the title imply? wat u did to him? 🙂

  2. hey, don’t tell me you dont know Amy Lee… I still remember your comment on a certain post of mine :p

    But I cant comprehend the whole point of this post… well if there was one, pardon me.. Hot afternoons leave me in a kind of sleepy stupor 😀

  3. @ hari_vishnu:
    Was checking out chat logs today noon when I found this conversation. Found it interesting enough to blog about about.

    The title refers to the sheer self-righteousness of this guy! And yea, there’s no possibility that you’re goanna know him. 😀

    @ sriram:
    That’s the point, dude! Arbit stff rocks! 😀

  4. Read this a few days back in my reader and came to comment to see it gone. Its back now, but forgot my comment. Anyway, good you could remain calm which usually annoys an annoying guy more. Cause random guys of this sort come with a single intention: to make you feel like a low scum. So when they see you are being cool about it, they are frustrated to the core. Which is just what they should be.

  5. As Ms Cris said, the best way to react to such Random guys is the way you did; show you’re listening to his chats but don’t giv a damn about his advice. :). Well dealt. I’ll say that to some extent he’s a sadist who got jealous of your popularity n have you such snide remarks. :p. As Hari said, next time i wanna bash someone i’ll ref him to you 🙂

  6. hahaha. Hilarious. In other words, Maarakam 😀

    A CETian, eh? Surely someone I know? 😉

    On a serious note, I am surprised at the length of the conversation. I may talk with people whom I dislike, but I don’t try to endure them in chat. Trump up an excuse to scoot off or just remain silent or my favorite, drop subtle hints you’re not enjoying this convo very much , mainly though monosyllables and seeming generally disinterested (achieved mainly through a torrent of hmms and k’s. 😀

    Hats off to you, though. 😛

  7. bleah.

    after all those comments, what have I left to say..

    anyways bro, you got tagged, but I have a funny feeling its not the first time you are offered this one.

  8. intresting one, I dont know why people take up the job of improving character of others. If they dont like such character,be it. They can very well shut up….
    they behave as if they are the perfect people…….I am really sick of such fellows…..i dont know how you could chat to such people

  9. @ ms cris:
    Actually, I’d posted this one before, but removed it due to typographical errors. Decided I’ll write it again after some deliberation. 😀 That guy kinda almost made me feel like scum yes, but I managed to live through it… lols!

    @ abhi:
    You’re right, bro. He’s probably a bigtime saddist. Kinda felt like bashing him in between… but felt kinda funny listening to him. And thanks chetta. I’ll bash him! 😛 🙂

    @ raouf:
    Don’t think you know him personally, but yea, he’s pretty famous! 😛

    Thanks man! 😀

    @ madman: (please change this display name!)
    Well, I don’t have an answer. I guess I just managed it. 😀

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