Daily Blunder: The Police Story

Ah, it feels heavenly to blog after a hiatus! 🙂

This post marks the start of a new series in this blog: The Daily Blunder.

Everyone has his/her own embarrassing moments; weird situations which would turn them beetroot-red in embarrassment. People do strange things trying to cover all those momentous gaffes up, burying them in the deepest recesses of their mind…

Not me.

I make ten times as many blunders as any normal guy. Perhaps I’m a tad too retarded ’cause the dumb things I do would make even Tom & Jerry seem ‘The Godfather‘-esque! And I don’t give a bloody damn about publicizing my faux pas! 😛 Hope you people will find the series as interesting as my previous posts…

It was a very very fine morning. Extremely fine, till I was rudely shaken up from the company of Mr Morpheus (not the one of ‘The Matrix‘ fame!) by my Mom shouting at the top of her voice at 7:30 AM, that is. Due to some, ahem, ‘extra-curricular activities’ in the previous night, it was a bit late when I’d hit the sack. (Not porn you evil mind! I had a website to design and upload. And that too, in JUST three hours!!) Four hours sleep is mandatory for me to stay conscious all day. I hadn’t even clocked two hours of sleep that night. Groggily, I shoved off the bedsheet, went upstairs and brushed my teeth only to realize the fact in horror. I was late, and I had to reach college by 8.45 that day!

After a dressing-up session which lasted five minutes precise (and would even put Darsheel to shame), I gobbled up a couple of Dosas with my always-punctilious dad looking daggers at me for perennially being late. I was wearing a worn-out pair of jeans and a gross, orange shirt which curiously made me resemble Munnabhai MBBS. For a few invigorating minutes, I pictured myself in Sanjay Dutt‘s celebrated role, hurriedly converting his home into a hospital in that ‘Subah Ho gayi mamu’ song. Another Darsheel moment. Dad had to slap me hard in the back, to bring me back to the real world!! I hate my life! Don’t I even have the freedom to day dream?! 🙁

Well, Munna cost me dearly, so to speak. Would you believe my luck? Just as I was rushing out of my house, all dressed up and bag on shoulder, my neighbour had left!! And he was waving back at me instead of asking his dad to stop the car. 😐 It was already 8:10 and I badly needed a miracle to reach Sreekariyam on time, so as to catch the college bus which was my only ticket to reach college by 8:45. I realized I didn’t have much choice. I ran. I ran till my lungs burned! After sprinting for about two hundred metres, I stopped, panting, longing for some water. Guess what, I’d forgotten my water bottle in all the frazzle! Swearing, I waved at the Yamaha Gladiator that swiftly approached me. The man was kind, he offered me a lift! If I had money in my purse, I’d gladly have gifted it to him in all the happiness!!

Two minutes in his bike, and I was swearing again. I’d rather have walked all the way. This dude was such a slowcoach. It was almost 8:25 AM!, over 15 minutes after I’d started from home, when we reached Sreekariyam! No sooner did he stop, I jumped out of his bike. I was in luck! The bus had just arrived at the stop. The benevolent conductor was trying his luck with this cute first year girl, so I had enough time to reach the bus. I ran. I didn’t notice a white-clad male figure in my way, first. My eyes were at the cream colored college-bus, revving its engine. I shoved the white-clad guy off with my right hand and sprinted as fast as I can. At that opportune moment, I felt a searing pain on my right forearm. Something sharp had brushed my hand. As I looked back, I realized the blunder of my life.

The guy I’d hit was the exasperated traffic policeman!!!

I’d caught him off-handed and had almost pushed him down squarely onto the road. He started showering me with a volley of choicest abuses and was now chasing me. I muttered a quick apology and galloped to the bus, quickly getting in through the back door; an instant before the bus started. Within a couple of seconds time, the bus had outmaneuvered the policeman. Thankfully, the traffic at the junction was a tad too high for the cop to ignore his duties and pursue his attacker. Shuddering in relief, I sat down in an empty seat. Few had noticed my rendezvous with the cop; those first years who had seen the incident were chuckling (not loudly though, I was a pretty-famous third year at college, after all!!)

Nevertheless, the policeman did have the last laugh. The pain on my forearm was actually a bruise he had inflicted with the sharp end of his whistle in all the rage. It was extremely painful and took a week to get cured.

My bruised hand!

Now, whenever I see a traffic policeman on the road, I make it a point to stay a couple of metres away from him!!