Hari Shanker R

Hari Shanker R

A Happiness Engineer at Automattic.

Ravings of a Rebel

They are the worst among the dreary savages this planet has ever seen. With their pink dyed hair, jarring hairdos, eye-popping attire and those red dreary eyes, they infest themselves everywhere. They live in the “Linkin’ Park” amongst other noted (er… or rather ill noted) contemporaries like ‘Spears’, ‘Shaggy’ and innumerable others(who as a matter of fact are the source of their inspiration). They say that these, savages who are popularly called rebels (and the synonyms of ‘rebel’), occupy more than a fourth of the population! Close studies by experts have brought out the fact that these people have been infected with an almost deadly disease called Teeneosis agesis. This disease is highly contagious and has grown to such a deadly extent that every child, gets afflicted with it when he/she turns thirteen. However there’s room for hope! This disease is found to exterminate itself when the victim attains twenty years of age, (that makes this author a rebel too!).

We are a gang with many peculiarities. The virus in us (which our experts have termed ectohormones) does a complex shift in our DNA characteristics triggering innate changes even in the innermost cell of our body triggering rapid growth; physically, emotionally, and (not always) mentally. Due to this rapid change, we rebels are in a mid-phase between adulthood and childhood. Half – children, half – adults, that’s what we are. They say that our M.A.Q. (Mean Anger Quotient) and is quite high and our E.Q. has reached immense lows. That gives us a natural tendency to revolt for no particular reason.

You might begin to wonder why this species has been termed ‘rebels’. The root cause behind this name is the frequent gang wars between them and their rivals. Guess who? No one other than their own parents! One of the major side effects of the Teeneosis agesis drugs is that they make the brains of the victims twisted, in a broader sense. In scientific terms, experts claim that this is due to the action of the Gen NXT hormones. The likings of these rebels always happen to be exactly the opposite of what is expected of them. This, along with other poignant factors cause vicious gang wars which always result in a unilateral victory , of the parents. Due to the infliction of the severe disease , the society never fails to accept the viewpoints of the rebel community and always justifies the views of the parents.

The parents seem highly ‘concerned’ about the future of us rebels and vehemently oppose any idea of recreation suggested by their children. When they are about to give the slightest idea of taking a rest these rivals open fire on us. Having trained their guns on us, we, the weaponless ‘rebels’ have no option, but to declare a ceasefire and are forced to exile in the training grounds, in order to bring about something ‘productive’. This author would like to bring unto public attention this highly biased and unilateral policy followed by our rivals who are much stronger than us. The members of this odd crowd, who are supposed to be our parents, treat us as enemies (or atleast we feel so). Instead of helping us out with this deadly disease and attempting at least to reduce our trauma, our so called parents crush whatever slight protest we make in order to attain freedom with tooth and nail, branding us rebels and making us overwork with the motive of making us ‘succeed’ in life. Comrades, we would like to present this as a ceasefire technique. Why don’t we establish truce in order to strive for a better tomorrow? Please accept the ravings of this rebel and take some action so that, at least the future generations may live without what you term ‘Generation Gap’.

P.S. The author requests all his comrades and all would-be comrades to pay for his health and life if this article might ever go public.

P.P.S. This is my first ever blog post. I’d drafted it sometime back after I published it. Thought I’d let you read it once more!! 😀

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