Before you read this post, ask the following questions to yourself:
Have you ever:
- Watched five movies back-to-back?
- Sat all day long, a book before you, gaping aimlessly at the fan?
- Dreamt about certain poignant issues ranging from the meaning of life to chaos theory for hours on end?
- Sat in front of the PC for forty eight hours straight?
- Chatted on the phone for eight hours, non-stop?
“Oh, duh! Part-of-a-teenager’s-life questions. Why AM I reading through this piece of shit?”
Aw, C’mon. I can read your mind. It’s no telepathy; just common-sense. Well, some of you might’ve done at least one among these (or variations), at some point in your life, haven’t you? What’s so big, you think.
Let me rephrase my question(s).
Have you done all these, the day before your board/university exam?
I have. Period.
Did you just flinch/cock-up-an-eyebrow/use-the-F-word? No surprises again, that too was elementary. Unless, of course, you’re a slacker like me. If so, welcome to the club! You have company, my friend.
I had a sunny side to my life, long back at school. At that time, I used to dutifully learn the day’s portions by rote, spending hours in front of the text; memorizing pages of info written in mostly-unintelligible lingo. But as time passed, as I grew into an ‘angry’ young man; I began to feel an off-key note among all this. What’s the bloody point? Typical teenager cynicism. An impressive performance in my tenth boards without much effort left me in fool’s paradise. Eventually, I developed a steady hate for written exams. By the time I passed twelfth (with a measly 82%, without studying a thing, again) and secured admission to GEC Barton Hill, the damage was more or less complete.
First series exams. Okay, I did well for Maths, but scored pathetically for other papers: failing in one. Second series: Pass:fail = 7:2. Third series Pass:Fail 5:4. After every exam result, I’d cultivate a certain controlled-remorse, partly as a facade to shield parents’ wrath, partly to do well again. It would last maybe for a week, God forbid. Then came the University Exams with a month and a half long “Study” leave. I devised rather innovative ways to skip studies; reading non-fiction/fiction/periodicals/newspapers, watching movies et al. Not a SINGLE minute studying (even on the eve of the exam, so to speak)! Well, first year exams went by in a breeze. The results weren’t much shocking. Three f***ing backpapers for Physics, Chemistry and Electronics. Exactly, as I’d expected.
Today, many-a-university (and hopefully, not many-a-backpaper: the results of my third semester exams are still in the pipeline) later, I stand as remorseless as ever after my first series in s4. Though I have faith in passing at least four papers this time, I doubt my study skills. It’s indeed been a while since I focussed my mind and learned something, academically speaking, that is. The sore point in the whole issue is the fits of anger that ensue within me when I see the sardonic glances of guys and gals, evidently dumber than myself, when they score 80%s at the universities! Ironically, I ignore all of them and move on with my uneventful life, choosing not to ‘work’ like them!
Will I have a redemption? Hopefully. I’m trying Yoga and Meditation.
To all those who’ve mocked me during my academic-lows:
Yeah, I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf. Let this rant signal a new beginning!
“When the world turns its BACK on you, you turn your BACK on the world!”
The title of this post is borrowed from Guru Das’s article along similar lines in ‘The Loyolite 2005’.