Hari Shanker R

Hari Shanker R

A Happiness Engineer at Automattic.

It’s all over!

She was the best thing that had ever happened to my life… At least I felt so for quite sometime. I could continue staring at those beautiful eyelashes for hours without batting an eyelid. I would talk to her for hours on end. Her face, with all its pimples, made Angelina Jolie look like a retard, at least for me. Her voice was seraphic: I felt it vacillate my heart-strings as she spoke. When ever she sang, (and she always did without question when I asked her to) it was SO heavenly. It felt as if I was elevated into another mode of existence, a fourth dimension…

And, when she said she loved me with all her heart, I was on top of the world!

She was perfection redefined; literally and otherwise. We both cherished all those hours on the phone, those odd get-togethers, the lovely gifts… She listened to my rants with intent, bore with me during all those bad times. She empathized with me, the way not even my parents did! In the process, I found myself inheriting her sweetness and charm. I found myself metamorphose into a better human being!

But, as Hugo Weaving‘s character in The Matrix said: “Everything that has a beginning has an end.”

Despite all the pain and bitterness I’ve gone through, I don’t blame her. It wasn’t her fault after-all, she had no other option but to say “YES” to that in-your-face marriage proposal from this well-employed relative. With my unfinished Engineering education, NIL Placement record, and three backpapers, I’m miles behind the hotshot! 🙁

But,

  • I miss holding her hand.
  • I miss its softness, and her quick-retract commenting on the roughness of my palm!
  • I miss the quick twitch of her head, when I said something unbelievable.
  • I miss the sound of her voice. I miss making her sing my favourite songs!
  • I miss those LONG phone calls!
  • I miss gazing at her pic for hours! (I deleted it, can’t do that anymore!)
  • I miss pinching her cheek, enjoying its softness…
  • I’ll miss her caresses, her cuddles…
  • I’ll DEFINITELY miss that odd-embrace I once gave her to console her. (Best moment in my life till date!)

Life’s all about moving on… And, I’m doing my best… 🙂

11 Comments

  1. ~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~

    Seems ur moving on bt in th wrong direction. Missing those times u spent with her will only make u more senti. Get on with life. Find something(someone also might do the trick)more interesting and go ahead. Only this time don’t make the mistakes u did last time. Or take sometime to think cant the condition and make sure ur ready for another relation. This cd happen next time too. Coz still u don’t have the all-sins-forgiving-software-job. Also the three backpapers are still glaring in ur face like they did few months back. Same about the relation with ur parents. This is best time to make the relation stronger.

  2. Hari

    Probably… But when the feeling is so intense, you have no other choice. It takes time; you, of all should know better!

    True, as Gita says: “Everything happens for your own good!”

    Btw,
    I’ve already found that ‘someone’. 😉

  3. sindhya

    Hmmm.. Only comment..
    “Dont worry too much about the past.. Coz what is to come mostly is better”:)

  4. Sreehari Harikesh

    and another guy thenjified…..
    i wonder why i see only guys get senti?
    women always fight for equality with men,but in this case i would fight for men’s equality with women for getting the gift of being as insensitive and practical as them.

  5. Anonymous

    this too shall pass.. cheer up man… u re too young to be perturbed by all this

    liked the part where you said life is all about moving on.. glad to see that you’re doing your best.
    the best of things are yet to happen in your life. 🙂

  6. Hari

    @Sreehari chettan:
    🙁 Well said, chetta! You just reciprocated my feelings…

    @Abhi chettan:
    Girls are girls. They’ll remain so forever!

    @anon:
    Thanks man! If only I could know your identity too..

  7. Miss Small Wonder

    hari,
    i feel bad to hear this. dont worry over it. now u have another girl??
    then y still worry over the other girl hari? it will make u as well as ur present girl feel bad. life s hard alle?

    ur personality performance was good hari. tumse hi too…very nice.nice to see u on stage…congrats..though u dint win…it was gr8…

  8. My Musings

    Gud writing dude. I like the part where u said, life is all about moving on. Proud that u were able to love someone selflessly and remember love is all about letting go that someone. Cheers dude!!!!

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